Nights of fighting the urge to stray from the rightful path, finally saw defeat as I now inched forward into the embraced of the rainbow life, vulnerable, confused. Yesterday night, I closed my eyes tight, imagining what the sight would be if you did not call me, did not search for me, did not even care about me. There was no plan to meet, to reconcile. This strange, peculiar act of saying hi again, this singular moment of eager anticipation of landfall, with all its unspeakable, undercurrent of guilt and fun.
I can't remember what trigger it to be exact, but I have to say that the controlled expression and emotion didn't quite go well with me. I looked away, towards the glass window just meter away, and reminisced the scene about 2 years back.
I don't know if I can face it again to change my life...
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